Thinking back..

As our girls are approaching 11 months on Tuesday it is hard for me to not look back on the pregnancy and wish things had maybe been different. I think back to the pregnancy all the time. I try really hard not to look back and wish things hadn't been different in the end, but I do. I wish that at 30 weeks the girls wouldn't have developed IUGR and have to be delivered at 34 weeks b/c they simply couldn't grow inside of me. I wish so bad I could have done something to help them grow more and been able to stay in me longer. I especially remember the day before the delivery (we didn't know that then) we went to see a High Risk Specialist at UMC. They did almost 2 hours worth of detailed tests and sonograms. He threw out the word stillbirth about Olivia b/c everything wasn't doing what it should have been for her. He said if I was his patient he would send me to the OR immediately. My doctor made the final decision that the next day at 12 would be fine. It was, however it is was a hard day. I hate that I can't say it was the very best day of my life. It was a whirlwind of emotions. Having twins and then not being able to see them and have them right beside us was so hard. I think me and Jon did some serious bonding and growing as a couple in those 3 nights in the hospital. It was so hard. People would come visit and most didn't go to the NICU but a few did and bless their hearts- as we all know it is an ordeal. I just get sad and wish we had had those 3 blissful nights in the hospital and getting to share our babies with everyone. I know there is no point in rehashing b/c it's done and everything worked out perfectly. I am currently listening to 2 perfect little 11 month old girls playing, squealing and being nothing shy of perfect! I know how blessed I am- I just sometimes do think back.

Life Lately

Not even going to say how bad I am at this blog, it's very obvious by my last date on the last post. I will try and do better but no promises.

Let's start with my marriage.
I love my husband so much. I have heard so many people saying having multiples has really hurt their marriage. Well I can honestly say our marriage is only stronger and growing everyday. We are more of a team than we have ever been. I have learned a new respect and appreciation for my husband. He has never backed down from 100% helping with our 3 kids. He is mister hands on and he is great! I love how much he loves and cares for all our girls. It is truly a blessing to watch. He is going to be staying home with our girls this school year and watching 2 other little girls. He has so much patience and is so great with kids. It's amazing to watch. I am proud to call him my husband and can't wait to spend everyday with him.

Our children.
Alexis is about to start 2nd grade and is thrilled! She is going to miss her 1st grade teacher more than words can express but she's excited to cross the highway to Northside and be with her friends again and start a new school year. She is going to be in Quest this year and that's really exciting for her! She is such a sweet girl and loves her sisters more than one can imagine. She loves to make them laugh and take the best care of them she knows how. She is always willing to help us do whatever we need for the babies. We are blessed to have such an awesome 7 year old daughter. We are proud of her every single day.

Ava and Olivia are 10 months this coming week. (CRAZY- I KNOW) They are such happy happy little girls. They really are. They love to play together. They are growing and changing in so many ways. They are both still taking 5 bottles a day and doing some fruit and veggies solids morning and night. They love their Mum Mum rice rusks and have recently been eating some real strawberries, bananas, and oranges in their mesh feeders. Not ready for table food yet but we are making progress. Ava weighs 15 lbs and Livi 14 lbs. Yes, they are small for their age  but from where they started they are doing just beautifully! They are both crawling soo fast and babble all day. They pull up and stand on everything. They are showing signs that they definitely will be walking in the coming months. I recently had a nursery worker on a Sunday morning tell me that she had them on 2 different ends of the room and that they each started fussing and as soon as they were put back with each other to play they were happy. They truly love each other and it is so neat to watch their interactions.

I honestly get overwhelmed so many times with happiness. I can't believe how blessed I am to have a husband who loves me like he does and 3 amazing children. This is not to say we don't have struggles. Let's be honest, twins who were born 6 weeks early, spending weeks in the NICU, on special premature formula until 12 months and a 7 year old is definitely costly and we have lots of bills but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Alexis is 7!

I can't even believe that are sweet Lexis is 7. I am coming to terms with the fact that our little girl is growing up.
I can not possibly say enough good things about this angel. I don't do it in a boastful manner, just in a way that I will remember this wonderful age.
She has almost completed 1st grade. This has been a great school year for her and she has completely thrived. She is so intelligent. She always comes home with great grades and has been reading up a storm. That child has read so many books this year I can't even count. She reads so wonderful and completely comprehends everything she reads. She has been in 1st grade singers and loved every minute. She doesn't really have many shy bones. She loves Jesus and loves to be with her church friends. Alexis loves almost everyone she meets. She especially loves all her time with all of her grandparents and she is by far the best big sister the world has ever known. She has endured ALOT of changes this past year. She was once an only child now the big sister to 2 little girls. I would say she took it like a champ, she never complains about all the time mom and dad have to devote to the girls. She joins in with us or entertains herself. She is a great girl and I just can't say that enough.

Lex we love you so much and are so proud of the young lady you are becoming!

6 months old..

Wow, I am behind on this blog. It's been too long. I told Jon and Lex my goal is to blog at least once a week if not more, starting today.

Our sweet twins are 6 months old. Amazing, seriously amazing how fast time flies. Gosh we love these little ladies so so much! I want to look back and remember what they were doing at 6 months so here goes.
Both girls have their very own unique personality. Ava is more relaxed and Livi is more wild, but both equally fun. Ava is weighing about 11 lbs and 10 ounces and Livi is about 11 lbs. We are so proud of our babies weight considering we started at 2 and 3 lbs. They are both starting to really get mobile. They love to roll and be on their bellies. Just this past week they have decided they can grab everything and put it in their mouth, including their feet and by that I mean they grab each others as well. Haha, it's so cute to watch. They are wanting to crawl and I think in the next month or two they will. They both love to jump in the jumperoo and play in the exersaucer. They enjoy bouncy time while watching Dora or Little Einsteins. We have just recently gotten into some good solids. They are liking pears, bananas and sweet potatoes right now. We tried peas and they hated. They weren't big fans of cereal either. They eat 5 bottles a day and go to bed b/w 730 and 8 and sleep pretty well. Some  nights they slept until their morning bottle at 630 and then back to bed until 930. Some nights they each wake up once to eat. Daddy stays home with them and does an amazing job. Let's just say taking care of two babies they need to be eating and doing everything at the same time everyday is a challenge, but he loves it and is amazing with these girls. He has more patience than any person I know which is exactly what a stay at home parent of twins needs. He never seems to get frustrated, he just loves and nurtures our babies! We have not yet taken the babies to church. I know many people think we are crazy b/c we have waited so long but just haven't been ready. I mean the first month of their life we had to scrub in and buzz someone and have permission to see our children. Makes it hard for us as parents to immediately just put them in a nursery after what we went through. However, we are slowly getting there. We have taken them to a few stores but they have been in car seats when we do that.

Ava and Olivia you have brought so much joy to our lives and we thank God for you daily!

Wow- 6 weeks tomorrow.

Wow- It is so hard to believe these girls will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. Amazing!
Let me just update on their progress. They are doing so well. Today Olivia weighs 5 lbs and 6.4 ounces and Ava weighs 5 lbs and 11.7 ounces and it changes and goes up daily. I finally broke down and bought a baby scale from Babies R Us b/c I wanted to make sure we were always going in the right direction. They are both gaining so well. Give us a few more weeks and they might be able to wear 0-3 months clothes and all the pretty little gowns and headbands we have for them! Can't wait!

They are also getting more alert. Last night they laid on our bed from 5-830 and just made noises and were wide awake. We have also started tummy time. Once a day we put them on their tummy's for about 10-15 minutes and they can both pull their tiny little heads up and turn them all the way from one side to the other. I am going to have to invest in a video camera b/c the effort and sounds they make when they are trying is priceless. They work so hard! They are eating every 3 hours and sleep pretty well in between! They both sleep in their separate cribs in their room at night and we are so proud of them for that! During the day they hang out in bouncy seats, swings, and cuddled together on mine and Jon's bed! Today we got our first round of RSV shots since they were premature we were eligible for those and basically they were a necessity b/c we don't want to risk anything. They will get rounds in Dec, Jan, and Feb to keep them protected from RSV! They also get their 8 week old shots on Nov. 30. That is crazy! We have definitely started adjusting our life to the girls! Yes, it is tiring and we don't get tons of sleep and I wash their laundry about every 2 days and we run the dishwasher full of bottles every 2 days and we have about 38 doctor brown bottles and it's never enough, BUT there is nothing better in the world then these 2 little angels and the way they can light me up and the way their daddy and big sister love them so much! I wouldn't trade all the work and lack of sleep for it any day! They are truly our biggest blessings (aside from Alexis, of course) and I love love love every minute of these girls!

3 weeks old!

Well the girls are 3 weeks old today! Hard to believe it has been 3 weeks since these sweet girls came into our lives! Let's start with Ava! She was discharged last Sunday! We were so shocked b/c we didnt expect it to be that soon, although we were thrilled. It was a hard day though bc it was so hard to take Ava and leave Olivia. I didn't realize how hard that would be. Ava has been doing good at home, the first 2 nights she was fussy during the night. We were trying to let her sleep in the pack n play in our bedroom and she honestly didn't like the pack n play. So we tried the crib and it's been working wonders! The baby loves her crib! She has now been doing great at night. She wakes every 3 hours to eat and then usually goes right back to sleep in her crib! She is such a sweet little baby! She is up to 4 lbs and 7 ounces. We do think she misses her little sister being in the bed next to her! I am ready to have them together. Her big sister, Alexis has been so sweet to her. She did get to hold her for a minute and that thrilled her to death. She has been very helpful with bringing us stuff for Ava when we need it!

Miss Olivia is also doing great. Jon and myself are both getting up there at night. When he gets home from work at 5 I go feed Olivia and spend time with her and then he goes at 8. It is hard to have one home and one in the NICU. Olivia is doing great though. As of last night she was 4 lbs which means it won't be long now before she is home. After spending all day with Ava and then going to see Olivia last night I really realized they look just alike for real. I think b/c Olivia's weight is almost caught up with Ava's it's helping. Pretty sure these girls are identical. Can't wait to lay them beside each other at home and really see if there is any difference.
I do want to say I was again reminded last night just how blessed we were. As I was feeding Olivia I heard a nurse telling a parent that their baby had had a spell and his vitals dropped and he stopped breathing and they had to bag him to get him to breath. Right then and there I stopped and prayed for that family b/c I can't imagine what it feels like to be told that and I thanked God for letting my 2 girls be so incredibly healthy.

I never want to take for granted the blessings we have been given.

2 weeks old!!!

So our sweet girls our 2 weeks old today and boy are they doing great!!! I mean GREAT! These girls remind us everyday of God's great goodness b/c they are just amazing! They are totally on bottles, feeding tubes have been out since this past weekend and haven't had to be put back in. They are eating every 3 hours around the clock and they may even start going to every 4 hours soon b/c they are eating so much! Ava can eat 60 cc's at a feeding (2 oz) and Olivia is up to 40 cc's! For these little angels that is amazing!
They continue to have no other problems whatsoever. No trouble breathing or doing anything! They are opening their eyes soo much more now too! They have starting smiling so much! They are just precious!
We are really loving getting involved at night. We take their temp, change them, swaddle them, feed them, burp them, and then cuddle!! We have to wait to cuddle until after they eat b/c if we try and cuddle during feedings they tend to not eat.. They like to be cuddled!!! I am finally allowed to drive since it's been 2 weeks since the section so I am going to be up there while Lexie is in school and do some daytime feedings! Oh and their fabulous weights as of today are Ava Grace 4 lbs and 2 ounces and Olivia Joy 3 lbs and 6 ounces!!
We are so proud of these girls and are so excited about how well they are doing and can't wait to get them home soon!!

Progress!!!!

Well we have had a great few days in the NICU!!! The girls are doing awesome! I tell you they are just amazing. They still have no other problems, just learning to eat through the bottle and gaining weight. We are so so blessed! So since they will be 36 week babies on Monday the nurses decided they needed to start really working on bottles. So when Jon and myself got to the hospital last night they had us ready to do the 8 o'clock feeding. For me it was a little nerve wracking b/c they are so small and that big monitor machine makes noises and scares me alot. I finally relaxed after the sweet nurse Nancy showed me some stuff. I just didn't know if you do everything the same way with little babies as you do with the big ole babies! Well you do! So Jon feed Ava and I feed Olivia. The NICU nurse got Olivia to finish her bottle and I burped her. We learned that since they loved to be swaddled and love to be cuddled by mom and dad you kind of have to hold them away from you when you are feeding them b/c when they are being cuddled they just want to sleep. So we learned that right away. I tell you though my husband was a pro. He got Ava to take her entire bottle. He didn't want help and he proved he didn't need it! He is already amazing with these babies and I can't wait to see when they get home how well he will do! They are eating at 8, 11, 2, 5 around the clock and will probably stay on that even when they come home and even if they aren't awake in the night we will have to wake them b/c preemies have to be on strict schedules! After we fed them both coincidentally both had stinky diapers for us. So we both changed our babies stinky and then got them all warm and toasty back in their isolate! The NICU nurse told Jon and I we both received Gold Stars for last night! I know it sounds crazy but it is different when they are small so we were soo proud of ourselves! We are planning on being there every night for the 8 o'clock feeding and as soon as I can drive again (this Friday!!!! hallelujah!) I am going to hopefully be there for the 8 o'clock morning feeding as well! Anyways, so we are doing great. They have both also started gaining and hopefully will continue. Last night Ava was 3-12 and Olivia was 2-14. Hopefully it is even more today when we go! Thanks for all the prayers, keep them coming b/c they are working! God is good and we are so blessed!

A great night in the NICU!

Jon and I had a GREAT visit with the girls last night! They were so alert and awake. We got them both out and held them for about an hour. I was holding Ava and Jon was holding Olivia! Jon was talking to Olivia and telling her that even though she's the youngest and smallest she can't let Ava do everything and do it all before her. So we are sitting there and Ava was hiccuping and not a few minutes later Olivia starts hiccuping! We were cracking up. She must have heard her daddy and realized she couldn't let Ava out do her!

Also, while Olivia was getting her tube feeding Jon got out her pacifier and that little angel sat there and sucked on her paci for about ten minutes! Only her daddy could get her to do! She may be tiny but she is a strong little girl! We are going to work on Ava and the paci tonight!
It was a great great visit! Love those angels! It was especially hard to leave b/c they were so awake and happy I just wanted to take them home! Can't wait to see them today! God is good and is blessing us every single minute of everyday!

Ava Grace and Olivia Joy!!!

Ok first of all, I am going to start doing better with this blog, I want to remember these first few days and weeks of the twins life in the NICU..

So after a few appointments last week and a high risk doctor appointment we realized the girls weren't growing in the womb anymore and we needed to get them out. My doctor decided he wanted to do a section b/c he didn't want to put the girls under any stress. So we scheduled the section for Thursday, September 30 at 12 noon.
So we went in for the section. The section itself went well, I did get a little/alot nauseous during the whole thing and felt pretty rough for a few hours after but it wasn't too horrible. The girls both came out kicking the doctor and crying right away. They are amazing! Ava was 3 lbs and 10 oz and 17 inches and Olivia was 2 lbs and 12 oz and 16 inches! Let me just say they are gorgeous. Their sweet daddy got to carry them out quickly to see family and then they wanted to get the to NICU. So they went straight to NICU. Because of a wonderful labor and delivery nurse I did get to be wheeled in on the bed to see them a few hours later. Nurses can make or break your experience and mine were wonderful!

So the first few days in the NICU we had a few issues. We thought Olivia was the one we were going to have to worry about b/c she was the smallest and a detailed sonogram last week had shown she wasn't properly distributing her blood. Well let me tell you that chick is amazing. She has had no issues. She is a fighter. She just needs to eat and grow. She is so calm and mild mannered and relaxed. Jon said she is already a daddy's girl! Now Miss Ava had a few issues in the beginning. She wasn't breathing as good as they would like the first day so they put  her on oxygen for a day. She quickly did start doing great, then she had a little jaundice so they had to put the mask on her and set up the lights for her. She also had to have some antibiotics through an iv for some acid issues. However, as of today all of those things are gone. Now they both have to just eat and grow. It is amazing to think that is all we are really worrying about at this point. I am telling you b/w the prayers from everyone and God's amazing love we are so blessed. It is amazing! We have quickly realized Ava is a wild woman. Last night she moved herself out of her little snuggie and moved all the way down her isolate and had totally shifted and turned her body around, while miss Olivia just sleeps so peacefully!! haha already we have a calm child and a wild girl! i love it!

Now, we were told they would be fraternal twins b/c they both had separate sacs, well one of our precious NICU nurses disagrees. She herself has twins and was told the same thing and she did a DNA test and come to find out they are Identical. Well we are convinced ours are Identical and once they get bigger and come home we will be doing the test. These two girls look exactly alike. IF they didn't have a pound difference b/w them right now I would not be able to tell them apart! Let me just say they are soo beautiful though. They have their daddys dark hair- they both have a head full and they look exactly like their daddy. Which is ok with me b/c I think he's pretty darn cute! I just can't say enough how in love we are with them.

Now I must say it is the hardest thing in the world to know you created these little children and now they can't quite come home with you. That is hard people. It hit me Saturday night out of the blue and then on Sunday when we were discharged I took it rough. It is so hard but I know it will get better. We are going to see them every single day and hopefully twice a day and they tell us within 3 to 4 weeks they should be big enough to come home. I sure hope so b/c walking in a nursery you have made for twins and knowing you aren't pregnant anymore but your babies aren't home is soo hard.

I just ask for your prayers that these girls continue to do amazing and will eat and grow quickly! We want them healthy and home!

 I will continue to update so we can look back and remember these important beginning NICU days!

Summertime!!!

It is officially summer at our house. I finished work Wednesday morning and don't go back until August 2nd and it is a great feeling! I am so happy to be home with Lex (and puppy Cassie of course) and spend some great time with my girl this summer. I know this will be our last summer just the two of us and we are going to make the very best of it. I am hoping to get back to cooking for the hubby and keeping our house clean as well! Been slacking on that during the 1st trimester.

I am 16 weeks and 3 days today! We had our full diagnostic appointment today and we were able to see the babies brains, spines, everything. Everything on both babies looked perfect. They both had all 4 heart chambers and had great, strong heartbeats.
Baby a - 140 and Baby b- 136..
We were really counting on finding out the sexes but baby b was quite comfy sucking his thumb and just wouldn't spread it. Baby a did show us some but we aren't 100% sure so we go back on June 22 and will be 20 weeks and they said we can know for sure on both babies.
I am just relived that they are both so healthy and active. Baby a was practically doing gymnastics while we were at the doc. It moved from laying upright to practically standing on its head. It was hilarious. We were able to take Alexis for the first time and the smile on her face when she heard the heartbeats was awesome. She looked at me and Jon and said I just love that sound!!! It was precious and I have NO DOUBT that she is going to be the best big sister there ever was!

We are heading to Gulf Shores in 2 weeks and will be there for a week. So looking forward to laying on the beach and at the pool and just relaxing. Oh and the shopping and good restaurants make it so much fun as well. We will return on a Saturday and will find out the sexes the following Tuesday and we plan to get busy shopping and decorating their nursery.
We have already purchased the two cribs and changing table and dresser. Babies R Us was having a great big furniture sale this past week and with us needing two cribs it was going to save us a couple hundred dollars so we went for it and Jon and his dad picked it up last night..
So we are planning to have the furniture set up before our next appointment that way we can pick out paint colors and bedding as soon as we know the sexes.

As I was very disappointed to not find out the sexes today I realize that its only 3 weeks away until we do. I am reminding myself how incredibly blessed we are. We are carrying to perfectly healthy babies! That is truly amazing. I will never take for granted how blessed we are!

Moving right along

Well I last left off at 9 weeks. I will be 11 weeks tomorrow. I would love to say that I am feeling great, but honestly I am not. Been feeling horrible most days and eating has just been really hard b/c I have felt so sick. However, I am sure that I am just around the corner from some great days!!! I had a little incident on Wednesday and passed out at school. After many many tests from my doctor he said he really doesn't have an answer. I don't have hypoglycemia or anything. I think I was just up super early and had been moving around really fast and hadn't had enough food yet. Basically it is just draining to carry twins and I have to be EXTRA careful!

We got to see the babies a little extra this past week since I was at the doctor soo much. The babies are looking and doing great. They were moving and their heartbeats were at 164 and 168. We go back at the end of May and get to find out the sexes. We can't wait! We are ready to put together a nursey!

We sold Jon's truck about 3 weeks b/c we knew we had to get something more suited for a family of 5. We found a great deal on an older Honda Odyssey and we love it! It seats 7 and is perfect!!

Today I went on an organizing kick. I decided everything had to be in its place before summer that way during the summer we can have the nursey completely ready before I start back to school in August. I spent hours cleaning out Alexis's closet and organizing her toys. It looks great. I cleaned everything out of our guest closet and now we just have to get the computer and tv out of there. I cleaned and made alot of empty shelves in the kitchen, lexies bathroom, and hallway closet that way we we have room for baby blankets, formula, bottles, towels etc..
I am just so excited I got all of this done today! It makes me feel like our house is now ready to set up a great nursey for these two little angels inside of me!!

Until next time!!!! :)

Our World is Changing..

When I started this blog in January I had intentions of keeping it up. However, that didn't happen but now I am more determined than ever that I will update my blog..

On March 3 we found out we were pregnant. We told our parents and Alexis on that Friday and decided we would wait to tell anyone else until we heard a heartbeat.
On March 24 Jon and myself went to the doctor with great expectations of hearing a good solid heartbeat.
Well suprise suprise not only did we hear one awesome 136 bpm heartbeat we heard another beautiful sound at 131 bpm. We found out we were having twins. Now to say we were shocked is just an understatement. I just kept looking at the nurse going you are kidding right. However it was very clear that there were not 1 but two sacs right there in front of our eyes. That day was just a day of shock. It was all exciting but just so shocking. Jon and I were completely thrilled to say the least. I just feel like we are being handed a major blessing with two babies. We are thrilled. We will find out around 15 or 16 weeks what the sexes are and if they are identical or fraternal. However, b/c there were two separate sacs with a membrane in between the nurse said they are most likely not identical. Which is ok with me if they aren't identical, might get a little too confusing.
Now big sister Alexis is beyond thrilled! She was so excited to have 1 sibling now the thought of 2 is just wonderful to her. She couldn't wait to tell her teacher and her friends. I just know Alexis is going to be an amazing big sister. She has already said that the proper way to hold them is by protecting their heads and that it is very important for us to remember that halfway through a bottle we must stop and burp them. I mean come on does that sound like an awesome big sis or what!

So as far as the pregnancy goes I have been very sick.I am 9 weeks today. I am nauseous alot of the time and just have absolutly no energy which is so rare for me. However, I will not be shut down I am still walking 2 miles 6 days a week and plan to keep that up with my mom for the entire pregnancy.

I hope you will share in our excitement and follow our blog to read each new milestone we reach!

Entering the blogging world.

Well after really enjoying reading others blog I have decided I am going to try blogging. I think it will be a great way to journal and keep track of great things that happen and maybe not so great things. I want to be able to think back a year from now and remember what we did on certain days.

So, let me introduce myself for those that not might not me well.
I am Melissa. I am a wife, mom, daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin, and niece. I am happily married to my husband, Jon and we have a beautiful 5 year old daughter, Alexis (actually she will be 6 next month.) I love Jesus Christ so much and feel so blessed to be a child of his. I graduated from Belhaven College last year with a degree in Elementary Education and am a 5th grade math teacher. I have always felt like teaching was my one true passion. I do love my job. I work with some great great people. There are some hard days, but there are some really great days as well. I want my students to feel like I really made an impact in their lives. I enjoy spending time with my family. We spend alot of time with my mom,- Mimi and my dad- Grampy. My mom is truly my best friend. She is a great woman and we love any time we spend with her. I am happy when I get to spend time with family. I love my family.

I hope to maintain this blog and keep it pretty up-to-date.